Single Minded - How The Life Of A Single Parent Has Still Yet To Change For The Better

I have been scratching around this week trying to find something to talk about. As I wondered through the minefield which we lovingly call the Internet, I found myself walking through the varied and many websites on single parenting.

It is bigger news today in this world than it was ten years ago and growing fast. Gone are the days of the taboo-ness of the subject, where everything was swept under the carpet and not discussed, and the thoughts on the topic are changing fast almost every day. In fact, it is hard to imagine that it was only in the last 50 years or so, young single mums were still being sent away to have their children. We HAVE come a long way, but sometimes, I feel, not far enough...

One of the first websites one comes across when looking around the net for articles on single parenting is Gingerbread. http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/portal/page/portal/Website. Sometimes it is hard to also imagine that we still need such organisations to fight the single parent corner. Having been a single parent myself, and most likely to be again at some stage, I found that these years alone with a child were rewarding but only in the sense that I gained ground, albeit in an emotional sense, as a person. Something happens when you become a single parent. The world around you suddenly looks hard and cold, and invariably it is. Single mums and dads still, even in 2009, get a rough deal. Particularly when it comes to, my favourite subject, work.

It is amazing the amount of people who find themselves alone with children having to take what I call, lower status jobs. Now, that does not mean to put down such jobs. There are many rewarding jobs which come under this category (and I too, have had to tread these lowly boards) although some are, still, not brilliantly well paid. Employers need to understand and recognise that single parents need support when it comes to work. They want to work for their children, as much as themselves. Ninety nine per cent of the time, they are the most loyal and hardworking. They are skilled and hold a wealth of experience. All they really need is a break.

All of these support organisations do a wonderful job. They post informative articles on nutrition, playing with your child, supporting them and most importantly, how to be two parents when you are only one. Yet very few will actually tell you how to maintain dignity in the workplace - how to maintain your job status in the world. If you were once a white collar, how to stay a white collar, not become a cleaner. There seems to be very little in the way of support for this subject. To me, it's the most important aspect. We can all read about the best way to get your child to eat carrots, but what we really need is to be told how we can get that job which means we can live comfortably and happily, doing the same thing we were doing before. It is what we want for ourselves and our children...

I suggest a new kind of forum - one that supports parents who need to consider the times their playgroup is open when it comes to finding a job that fits in. Whilst working with a lot of people struggling at this present time to find work, there are still too many good, intelligent and experienced people being turned away at interviews simply because they can't quite do the old nine to five. I have found that many employers are taking a huge liberty knowing that, right now, for every candidate walking through the door who might need a little flexibility in their working life, there is another 100 out there who will happily do the hours and never want to leave early because the school has called and little Timmy needs to go home....

The world of a single parent is still patchy. There is, as we have discovered, groups and organisations which will help until they are blue in the face but will fail to help in other areas. Please tell me if I'm wrong, but when a million single parents are having to ditch the office for a shop job at the weekends or a night cleaner simply because they can't find work any other way which fits in and which resembles the life before, there is a topic which still gets that carpet burn....

Until the next time

2009 Michelle Duffy

You might also like to read some of the topics supported and covered at: http://www.lone-parents.org.uk/

Taking The Career By The Balls - How Mr Ed Plans A Quick Fix Mix

It has been a week of quietening within the public sector. Since the world of the media has been so overcome with swine flu, it has allowed certain figures and departments to take a wise holiday from the front pages, namely Gordon Brown, Katie Price and oh yes, the public sector, and social services in particular.

Well, it's been a while since discs and laptops have gone for a Burton from the back seats of cars, and not much has disappeared from a train, only don't get on a bus if you're carrying sensitive medical records, there is a distinct panic, although I can't help but think why? What would a terrorist do with some old dear's medication history? Panic too much? Surely it is rather like the ID syndrome - if you have nothing to hide then you have nothing to fear. I could be wrong....

However, through my wonderful Community Care email supplier, I am bound to stumble across a nugget or five in the news column. Today, it is the turn of Mr Ed Balls and his new and improved clean up campaign by giving professionals struggling to fine new employment a chance to become social workers - as if they really wanted to - rather like those adverts you see in the freebie newspapers about becoming a driving instructor....

As posted in the Community Care.co.uk subscription:

"Social care expert Ray Jones has dismissed the government's plan to fund other professionals to retrain as social workers as a "quick fix" and a "cheap option" that will not solve the profession's recruitment problems.

Jones, a former social services director and British Association of Social Workers' chair, said lawyers, teachers or others on the scheme, announced yesterday by children' secretary Ed Balls, would not be ready to practice after the 12-18 months of training it will provide..."

The rest of the article goes on to say how Mr Balls is intending to cut the training back at an alarming rate thus to ensure that these newly registered SW's are ready for work - only in the literal sense, rather than the academic...

So what do we make of this quick fix scheme then? Is it enough for our community of abused adults, battered children and mental health patients living amongst us to have a whole line of partially prepared social angels? Will these fast buck employees really be able to make a difference? Surely we would hope that people who chose to embark on a profession in the social car system goes into it for the love of working with people and helping the vulnerable, and I have know plenty of good, faithful and loyal social workers - and trust me, no one ever goes into the job for the money - there is none...

(The original article can be found here:)http://www.communitycare.co.uk/Articles/2009/07/10/112061/ed-balls-career-change-scheme-criticised-as-a-quick-fix.html

"The professor of social work at Kingston University is one of a number of academics to back making graduates carry out a probationary year in practice before being able to register as social workers, effectively extending the mandatory training period for social work to four years.
Training period too short
He said: "At a time when people are arguing that social work needs a longer training period [Ed Balls is proposing a shorter period]."
Commenting on the £15,000-a-year salary that trainees under the scheme will be offered, Jones said: "What we are being offered is a quick route to becoming a social worker for people who have chosen other professions, with a financial incentive that is not available to people who have chosen social work from the start."

I let you be the judge but personally I would think that the best policy here is to simply go back to basics and allow people to come into the profession who have that desire to help people - not just wave the illusion of it in front of the faces of people trying to find work - of any kind.

We have a dilemma on our hands when it comes to the social system and somehow, I feel this is not the way forward.....

Until the next time

Michelle Duffy 2009

Re-shaping the Community - How We Need To Go Back To Council Basics

If we could see exactly how our councils are run and the amount of work many employees of social services are under perhaps we would sympathise with these workers alot more. There are a great many stories leaking here, there and everywhere from each corner of the UK (and the rest of the world sometimes) on yet another child or vulnerable adult lying victim at the seeming hands of our social services network, yet are they really to blame? Well, there are, as with many social issues, two schools of thought - one would argue on one hand that they are fully to blame and should be held countable for every injustice in our community which could have possibly been avoided. On the other hand, there is the camp which, like me, are full of employees and former employees who understand fully the extent of the work which needs to be carried out to ensure the safety and security of every service user it encounters. Who is right? We blame, as a matter of human nature, the very thing we either cannot see nor understand....

Featured on the Community Care.co.uk website this week was an update written by Mithran Samuel, on the recent Vale of Glamorgan case which saw the unwise placement of a teenage sex offender with a family including two young children which he systematically abused. We would guess, rather wisely it would see, that the council placement team/policy is to blame, and we would be right, but are they really to blame, or is it resting firmly on the shoulders of a objective system which is long passed an overhaul - a system which, cannot be changed or revoked by anyone....not even in a case like this...

Mithran writes,

"Vale of Glamorgan Council will face an inspection after failings were identified in its handling of the case of a teenage sex offender who was placed with a family, whose children he went on to abuse. Welsh government deputy minister for social services Gwenda Thomas said today that the Care and Social Services Inspectorate Wales would undertake a review of the authority later in the year, with a particular focus on the issues raised by the case..."

"She was responding to a damning internal inquiry into the case by the council, published in May, which found that the council's leaving care team had failed to provide the adult placement service, which made the placement, with a chronology of his past offences or the results of risk assessments made on him...."

It is in this second paragraph where we find the problem: The system put in place here failed to the very service which would have stopped this placement happening, thus saving the mental and physical anguish of these poor children. No one to blame here - only a policy which doesn't and could never work.

The problem which our local governments today is the very system on which they are based. A vast majority of the time, they are ancient Establishments run by equally old fashioned councillors who have no true concept of the world in which their communities live. Any council department is run by it's sheer volume of paperwork. Everything is done like clockwork, despite the fact that a policy is outdated, the system in question will still go ahead simply because it exists within the council structure. So why aren't these policies examined and re-written? Because, like many other public sector authorities, something has to happen first before the system is reworked. Through the NHS, someone usually has to die before the way in which that person has died comes into clearer focus. Through social services, teams gather on a regular basis in huddled corners of council buildings and drum out in succession each and every case in which someone has fallen victim to a system or a policy and where justice needs to be sort. These people earn a lot of money simply attending meetings about a system that fails. More frighteningly enough it is through these systems that simple procedures and even diabolically bad human judgement has played a major role in the demise of an innocent person.

We look to the future in this business and wonder where on Earth to start. Being a former pen pusher myself, I had witnessed enough though almost two decades which I found both staggering and frightening. Not only because these events were taking place but there were huge teams of people who's job was solely to sort out the mess which was usually left behind as a result of a dusty and out of date system.

IF and this is a big if, any one person is to be blamed for these tragic stories which fill our already over spilling negative thoughts about our local councils, it is the very person or people who wrote these policies and systems in the first place. The real tragedy here is that these people are long gone - either off the mortal coil themselves or simply moved on into other professions. Council employees are not paid to judge what has already been judged. They are not paid to have an opinion and if they do, they are not paid to speak ill of it. Many social workers will say that they are far too pressured and over worked to think too heavily about how their system works or fails for that matter. If we really want to change the way we care for our vulnerable society, we need to re-write every single policy and regulation in the book. I wonder if the job is not necessarily too big but too worrying, as you could not imagine what would be unearthed....

Michelle Duffy 2009

The article mentioned here was taken from:

http://www.communitycare.co.uk/Articles/2009/07/08/112055/vale-of-glamorgan-faces-inspection-on-back-of-abuse.html

Just as a final note on the subject the article mentioned states...

"Following the report, director of social services Phil Evans announced a major retraining programme for staff and an overhaul of risk management and case referral processes. Three members of staff were suspended, prompting Unison to accuse the authority of scapegoating social workers....."

I wonder when we will see the day when all social workers are given the support they need so they can do their job effectively, and above all, save lives.....

From Getting The Sack To Media Expert - The Quick Run Of The Unemployed Entrepeneur

I came across an interesting article this morning which, in the light of that current government marketing programme, "the recession," has seen a distinct shift in the way we see business. We have talked in the past at great length about how we are reacting with each other due to the pressures of today's society, and this article here, http://marketing.about.com/b/2009/07/05/five-guidelines-for-outsourcing-your-social-media-marketing.htm delightfully highlights the shadowy phenomena which has graced our Internet screens in recent times - The Social Media Marketing Expert...

We see them everywhere - little one page websites which literally pop up from out of nowhere and claim they have all the trade secrets worth knowing to kick start your business within hours, so much so that you'll be booking that three week holiday to Barbados in no time. These pc geeks, usually men in their middle forties dressing like students with caps on the wrong way round, conkers on string round their necks and transfer tattoos, make amateurish home videos of themselves and one other mate, sitting on a flea bitten couch telling the viewer how they can install this piece of groovy software (download for a hefty price) and within minutes be raking in the cash. Who are these guys? Well, last week, they were probably working as a clerk for Barclays, but during the layoff's they started up this neat scam - er, marketing ploy making them media experts.

I have yet to come across a system that works, but, (and as the article points out,) the number of amateurs are vastly outweighing the real experts. Yet how on Earth is the small business owner going to pick out the men from the boys? Simple - if it sounds too good to be true then it probably is (how many times have we heard that one before?) So, we look for an element of qualification don't we? I would hope so, or the scammers will sniff you out a mile away...

I too have nothing against free enterprise - after all to a certain degree, it keeps a small amount of people going/generating income etc but to who's expense? It keeps the grey matter ticking over but it fools everyone else who signs up for this nonsense. Anyone can set themselves up as anything these days, and as a good friend said to me only a few days ago, in the ten years she had been a financial advisor, no one had ever asked to see her qualifications yet she takes home a figure most of us can only dream about ...

The real bet here is to do what everyone else is doing - if they are claiming to be experts, then surely you can train yourself? The only fooling around which is going on this life of business is the fools taking in the fooled - there are only tricksters around if there are those around who are "willing" to be tricked. If we keep one step ahead of these guys and do it ourselves then we can only win. After all, it does not take a degree in rocket science to discover how the likes of media monsters Twitter and Facebook can really do for you....

Until the next time...

Michelle Duffy 2009

Blue Days And Work - The Need To Keep The Mind Safe In Todays World

There is a wonderful article this week which I would like to draw to your attention. Now, I know I don't always do this, but I have had many readers request that I write a few postings as to what the humble buisness here of mine actaully does, so here goes... (see, a little self promotion never did anyone any harm, right?)

This article, http://www.communitycare.co.uk/Articles/2009/06/30/111970/people-with-depression-lack-access-to-exercise-therapy.html highlights one of the most passionate subjects which Community Consultancy covers - mental health. Through a multitude of networking events, I was lucky enough to meet some wonderfully talented and hard working individuals who also share my aim to highlight awareness of mental health issues particualrly in these concerning times. We think a lot about businesses/finance and the state of the global economy but yet do we really think about the impact it has on ourselves as human beings? If we're being brutally honest, then probably not....

Yet we should. In a recent article I highlighted on leading wonderworking organisation, LinkedIN, I brought to the attention of the 41 millions services users on the website, the strong connections between mental illness and financial debt. As you can probably imagine, it was received in a stunned silence. I guess for the many readers and for those who had time to wander around the Mental Health Commissioning Group on the site, it gave food for thought. Yet there are significant factors in our own lives which can trigger problems. There are millions of people, across the world who have lost jobs, homes and even relationships due to the shortfall of money. It happens. We are not as resilient as we would like to think. If we are aware of our own minds - we can help not only ourselves but each other, right?

A friend of mine posed a very interesting question to me only yesterday, and she said "Would you employ someone back into a highly responsible job, like a commercial pilot, say, if you knew he had a history of a nervous breakdown or something similar?" And I had to admit, it made me think.

Now, there are two scores of thought on this:

1> The person in question might not ever be in a fit state to ever fly a plane and land it. Much of the population will agree on this no doubt, but what about this one for you?

2> That person is very employable in this role, as he recognises and understands the triggers of this problem so therefore is more than equipped to deal with it, should it arise again.

I bet that has now made you all think....

So, this is how I see it - We take someone who has had such a breakdown. That person has now fully recovered and has passed all the health tests etc under the sun and appears to have no other underlying mental health concerns - in other words, he or she is fit to do the job.

Years ago, in another life, I worked for the NHS (what capacity I shall keep to myself, although I did work very intensely with mental health patients and institutions before they all closed) I knew a particularly wonderful person who had a very responsible, medical job. He was a friend and still is, but his personal life had been peppered with a list of tragedies and upheavals so much so that he suffered (on more than one occasion) a nervous breakdown and spent some time in hospital. He was not allowed to return to work. To his job. At all. Was this fair? To me, no.

He was more than capable to do the work. He had been in his position for decades, yet because he went through a nasty patch in his personal life which got on top of him AND never was likely to happen again - he was medically retired. The truth of the matter here was that the NHS lost a highly valuable member of staff, who has worked in a job since then which does not fulfill his talents.

We can all think of someone who has had their fair share of life and what that has thrown at them over the years. When one in four of us is likely to suffer with mental health problems at some point in their lives, we are more likely to think of several people, rather than just one. Should these people be given a fair chance to start again or should they be forgotten about?

The government and the general dire system we have in place today is fairly embarrassing, yet at the same time, makes my business more lucrative, and sometimes I wish it didn't because it means that the system is nuts. There is so much discrimination on this subject, you would not believe. There are problems we deal with every day of the year, many I have already covered in this blog which can be linked to mental health problems. We are told that if we have a health mind, the body usually follows. This is true, but not enough attention is given to our own mental wellbeing - we are too preoccupied with looking fit and healthy. What does that count if we have a long list of problems and concerns we need to straighten our in our heads?

If we have a good, positive outlook on our own lives, the rest of ourselves will follow. At times, the world looks bleak. Socially we are not allowed to consider mental health - to many of us think of people with mental health illnesses as people shuffling around and dribbling a lot. It goes deeper than that and even "blue days" need to be addressed...

We just need to know how to deal with that....

2009 Michelle Duffy